Thursday, June 30, 2011

THE ALBUM...

...is HERE!

ashleyhopkins.bandcamp.com

Our new album

From Ash:

In late spring 2010, I was working on a farm in Cedar Grove, NC. A nice full day of consistent physical activity in the open air and sunshine is very fertile ground for creativity activity. I wrote a lot of the material for "Reboot" on the farm. "Layers" came to me while peeling onions in the afternoon shade of the pole-shed. "The Honest Way" worked itself out while harvesting carrots and basil. Many other songs had already developed slowly over the course of 2 years during which I got married, delivered pizza and ran projectors.

Sometime in June 2010 I took a very strange train ride to Charleston, SC where I recorded all of the drums for the record with the incomparable Nick Jenkins (mrjenkins.bandcamp.com) at Dan McCurry's house/studio. Dan was ready to record the drums for his next album (rundanrun.bandcamp.com), so we had a wonderfully full week of work. Dan and I cobbled our recording gear together with a few borrowed pieces from our friends at Hello Telescope (hellotelescope.com) and knocked out some 20+ drum tracks in 7 days along with most of the piano on the record. The drums were done live, no clicks, no comps. I have tried to allow some human imperfection to peek through on this record- not easy these days.

The production on Reboot is entirely home-spun. No big studios, no producers. The electronic heart and soul of "True Enough" was done by my friend Jonathann Rice of Good Shot Janson (www.reverbnation.com/goodshotjanson) during a week-long session at his house in Nashville, TN. We collaborated on each other's material, and with Jonathann's contributions to "True Enough" I believe I got the best end of the deal. The strings for the album were mostly recorded in one very long day in August with my friend Aaron Fried and my wife Giovanna in a closet in our house. Dan Mccurry helped with some piano work in his living room. Everything else I did myself, mostly in a sweltering attic, until I had all of my favorite things thrown in- upright bass, accordion, mandolin, melodica and lots of guitars. I worked through the heat-death of late summer as Giovanna and I began work on Black Snake Homestead (www.blacksnakehomestead.blogspot.com).

By the time September arrived, I was totally burned out on the album. I had gotten into the mixing stage with virtually no break from the inception of the songs, and everything had turned into mush. As autumn crept in I abandoned the project as hopeless and became preoccupied with planting trees, digging swales, playing chess and sheet mulching. A very long, cold winter followed. The day before Christmas Eve, we discovered that we were going to have a child. I knew that I had to finish this record before he was born or I would utterly abandon it forever. I listened back to the sessions after having had such a long break and realized that there were plenty of useful things in there after all. I unmixed the sessions and started fresh- reboot! Now, with a little bit of re-tracking, a few added spices and the proper time put into mixing and mastering, it is all done.

The thematic content of this album falls more or less into one of two categories, one being religio-philosophical critique of our strange society in this truly bizarre period in history, the other being love-letters to my wife. My marriage is more and more the basis of my worldview and the only source of my sanity. Giovanna deserves the most credit of all for inspiring the songs, contributing violin, singing harmony and producing my vocals, which we did together in our room. She coached me through each song the same way she had been coached through years of classical violin training. It made a healthy difference, aside from being a really fun way to spend a few evenings with my best friend.

I hope you enjoy "Reboot" as much as I enjoyed making it. It is an album that was nearly scrapped altogether; it is as lucky to be here as you or I or anything else.


Ashley Hopkins
6/30/11

Music and Movement

He is big enough now that I can find his body parts! I can tell whether that poke was feet or hands. I can tell whether that bulge is head or butt. I think he is actually in a decent position most of the time, because most of his feet kicks are on my upper right abdomen, implying left occiput anterior. He still moves, turns, stretches, and pokes CONSTANTLY and mostly during the day.

My liver feels 90% better this morning, but I did throw up and have a couple difficult hours on the toilet. Not sure whether that was just my liver detoxing or normal pregnancy poop problems. But last night I was feeling so great, I didn't even feel pregnant. I slept really well.

I have another appointment with the midwives this afternoon (every two weeks feels so often!) and an appointment with the chiropractor (including a mini massage, yay!). I hope my bloodwork came back ok and that my blood pressure is fine (last time it has gone up a little, which still had me well within the normal range but it was high for me).

We are releasing our album today, not sure what time, but you can expect a link here! I'd say 50% of the songs are about how messed up the world is, 30% are love letters, and the last 20% are story telling (but all of it is highly poetic nonsense). We worked really hard on it for over a year, so I hope some of you can enjoy it!!

I have a feeling that the next project we do will be kids music. Both because Ash has already started writing some and because we will have a kid and we DESPISE most stuff marketed as "children's music". We were shopping in the Red Hen the other day, and there was this AWFUL remake playing of "Here Comes the Sun". I mean, it's not like everything has to be simplified with bad electronic instruments and patronizing voices in order for kids to enjoy it. In fact, I think it just teaches them to have low standards when it comes to music.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

acupuncture

Acupuncture was a great experience... I have never met people who have such a thorough understanding of health and nutrition than those at Oriental Health Solutions. I feel like the info they gave me today is the last info I will ever need about food. It all seems so simple now.

The needles hurt a smidge going in, but that's to be expected since the pain being treated was pretty bad. She just treated my right side, since my pains have all been on the right. It turns out that the points on my spine and in my neck that were sensitive and uncomfortable were actually reflex points for my liver! So it was all connected. My other complaints were all related to low blood sugar. She says all of my carb and sugar loading as a teen have created some insulin resistance in my body, so whenever I eat fruit or honey or maple syrup, I need to make sure there is plenty of protein/fat to go with it and I should be fine. Poor pancreas! I'm sorry I abused you so!

I left there feeling 100% better, just like magic. After spending time in the car and accidentally ingesting 36 grams of sugar, I'd say it's down to about 75% better. I'm going to wait until tomorrow to see how I REALLY feel, because she seemed to think that this was the only session I would need (unless she takes a look at my bloodwork I'm bringing in tomorrow and sees something else she should treat).

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

32 weeks tomorrow: warning, whining ahead!

"You know, it's funny that they only call the last part labor!"

Yes, darling, YOU ARE SO RIGHT.

The end of each day is so rough. Everything hurts and nothing makes it better. My belly and back ligaments ache from the weight they've carried all day. My spine feels like it's going to snap in half from all the pressure. My diaphragm is being kicked (feels like almost getting the wind knocked out of you). My ankles and/or hips hurt. I could eat a horse but there ain't room in there for much of anything. My liver is still constantly aching and I have no idea why. I pee about four times per hour and need to drink water constantly (I only pee about four times the whole night, luckily). When I'm not aching, I'm too dizzy to do much of anything.

I'm not getting enough exercise. I'm eating well, at least I hope I am (still no sugar cravings). I will be visiting the acupuncturist/chinese herbalist tomorrow and I just KNOW they are going to make me drink bone broth!! But If I can be less uncomfortable, I will do anything.

I have got to find out how they came up with the 80-100 grams of protein per day figure. That seems more and more ridiculous every day. Of course I feel BEST when I eat that much protein, but that's a TON of food and I can't picture evolution favoring such needy neediness.

I think I've ate like 3 whole watermelons in the past week. Way to be a stereotype!

I did my last babysitting shift today. I'm sure I'll pick up an odd job here or there but... I'm really glad I'm stopping. I almost fell asleep on the floor today. The family gave me a nice goodbye card with a picture of the little girl in it. So sweet!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

31 weeks video and picture



If I poke him, he moves!

You can hear Ash in the background putting accordion on our new album. We hope to release it in the next few weeks!

31 weeks

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

31 weeks

I'm still feeling quite dizzy in the mornings, so my midwives took some blood to check my iron levels and my blood sugar levels. I'm also going to see an acupuncturist next week, at Oriental Health Solutions, since they did such a great job with Ash this spring. I'm hoping they will finally be able to help me fix this constant, stabbing liver pain. I'm going to have a check up with the midwives every 2 weeks now, and then starting in August every week until he gets here. They said that since I don't want him to be born until after my brother moves out... that is probably what will happen!

I've been eating a lot of watermelon... I'm really glad to have the summer produce season during this part of my pregnancy!!

I woke up last night to pee, and I was laying flat on my back. I sat up and had a SEARING pain all over my back, like it was going to go out and give way any second. So I guess the baby officially puts too much pressure on my spine for me to sleep on my back at all.

I'm continuing to have a lot of braxton-hicks contractions all day long. Today was rough; it was my last day babysitting sweet Lola, who is now 9 months. She needs lots of cuddling and there are plenty of things to bend over and pick up and clean up... so I had a lot of contractions all day from not resting properly! My official last day of ALL my babysitting jobs is next Tuesday.

By the end of every day, my belly feels like a WAY over-inflated balloon. Really tight and uncomfortable. No matter how I lay or sit or stand it doesn't help. Ouch ouch ouch! I just have to try and sleep through it because it never goes away until morning.

Being pregnant is a FULL TIME JOB. Remember that, ladies. It takes dedication and a super strong marriage to get through it with your sanity in tact!! Shout out to my husband who continues to go above and beyond to help me out.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Hypnobabies

I realized that I never gave a review of my Hypnobabies class after we completed it a couple of weeks ago. I should do that... and any of you should feel free to ask any questions you might have!

Overall: both Ash and I LOVED this class.

It was a 3 hour session once per week for 6 weeks. There were five couples total in the class (two home birthers, one birthing center birther, and two hospital birthers). Our instructor had three boys, each one born in each of the three settings possible, so it was nice for all of us to hear her first hand experience from each birthing environment. We were all first time moms and we ranged from 28 weeks to 36 weeks by the end of the class. The class took place in the instructor's home in Durham. It cost $300. We were served water with lemon wedges the whole time and a DELICIOUS/filling/nutritious snack halfway through each class. We were told to bring pillows, blankets, and anything else we needed to be comfortable.

Each class started off with a quick hypnosis session, in which the instructor would tell us to lie back in a fully supported position and take deep breaths to begin relaxing. The script was read aloud and was all about leaving behind any thoughts or worries from your day and being fully committed and present during class. Each of us had been given a CD with a hypnosis script to listen to daily before the class began, so it was easy for us all to jump in at class number one. Each class we went over a plethora of information regarding pregnancy and childbirth (SO MUCH INFO! Even for someone like me, who spends a lot of time researching this kind of stuff) and practiced specific hypnosis techniques that we would need during our birthing time. We were sent home with a to-do list for each week, with daily instructions on which CD to listen to in addition to other things like daily stretching, exercises, and nutrition goals. Some examples of tracks we would listen to at home: "Deepening Hypnosis", "Fear Clearing", "Visualize your Birth".

I think a defining moment was after about the third class, when we all spent a week listening to a track that told us how to create our own anesthesia for childbirth. This is the same sort of hypnosis that they teach to people who must undergo surgery without medical anesthetic (due to an allergy or whatever). We practiced in class with our husbands pinching our arms while we were in hypnosis, to prove to ourselves that we really did not feel pain, only pressure, while using our hypno-anesthesia. I recently used this technique while getting blood drawn at my appointment (I didn't use the technique with the first draw, and it HURT LIKE THE DICKENS so I asked to go under hypnosis for the next draw, and it was COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE). I also use this technique during perineal massage for complete relief of discomfort. While creating anesthesia we created two options for ourselves: being in "Off" mode, in which your entire body is loose and limp and you are anesthetized from head to toe, and "Center Switch", in which your middle (everything except your legs and head) is anesthetized (this is so you can walk around and talk to people during your contractions if you wish). When your mental light switch is in the "On" position, it is just normal everyday you with no anesthesia.

The last class was a birth rehearsal. The instructor used a stopwatch to tell us when we were starting and stopping our fake contractions (or "birthing waves" as we now call them). We practiced the "doula stomp" (walking together with wide, slow steps), leaning on our husbands fully supported while standing and sitting, and leaning on the birth ball in various poses. I think we all were pleased to discover that this exercise helped us get an idea of what we would find comfortable during labor (I certainly thought that standing supported was not nearly as comfortable as being on all fours). The instructor sent us home with instructions on what exercises to continue doing daily (physical things and hypnosis) until our babies get here. I have been doing everything every day and it is really is making me feel quite prepared and excited about the baby coming! I feel like I have all the tools and all the knowledge I need to make my best birth happen.

To see what a birth under hypnosis looks like, check out the videos at this doula's youtube page:

Enjoy Birth

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

29 weeks

Weighing in at 147 lbs....

28 weeks

I have been making so much homemade bread, about 6 loaves per week. I also made some homemade pizza dough (recipe from the Kitchen Aid mixer book).

homemade bread
homemade pizza

And here are photos of that toy box Quinten made! He used no power tools to make this. Or nails/screws (except to hold the handles on). Just hand chiseled dovetail joints!

hand made toy box
hand made toy box

I have finally started feeling a lot more kicks up by my ribs, rather than out to the right side of my belly button, which means he has stopped being in a silly sideways position and has started hanging out head down. Good boy!! He's still just as active as ever... kick kick kick kick... I'm still having that stabbing pain in my upper right abdomen. The chiropractor just thinks it's my liver and galbladder being squished by my intestines and their contents. The midwives aren't concerned unless I start having high blood pressure. The visit to the chiropractor last Thursday did make my back pain stop, thank goodness! It was really bad. I know it will be back in a couple of weeks as I gain more weight and my spine shifts again... but that's why I have another appointment!

The chickens are so cute, they act just like big chickens only they are tiny so they fall over a lot and peep and are generally ADORABLE.

sleeping babies

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Happy third trimester to me!

One of our dogs (Louie) bit a kid last week (wasn't the first time he did something like this) and the parents called animal control. They have to hold him in quarantine for ten days to prove he doesn't have rabies... and then they are putting him to sleep. Poor dog, it's a shame he had to go this way. He's only about 2 years old.

And Taz has to get his tail amputated on Monday! He has a little tumor on his tail, and it's non cancerous but it's the kind that spreads pretty fast so they're going to take his tail off before it spreads to a major body part and become cancerous.

Today was a nice day... 90 degrees in the shade with low humidity feels like no big deal. I spent the whole day on the front lawn, reading. We moved the chickens from their indoor coop to their outdoor dog crate... they had so much fun! Bugs flew in and out and they even managed to catch a couple. We gave them an ear of corn to pick on.

I tried the "hand expression" method in the LLL book and a little drop of water came out my left nipple!! I was insanely excited. Probably too excited about a drop of liquid coming out of a nipple. But I think it's the coolest thing in the world that I make food :). Nothing from the right breast... it's funny, it feels like a totally different breast. It's a little smaller, less firm and the nipple is a tiny bit wider/softer. I think I might get less milk out of that one than the left one... but who knows! I don't want to make a self-fulfilling prophecy by dwelling on it too much. I'm reading the LLL book cover to cover and then re-reading the newborn parts before Lucca gets here. What an awesome book.

I bought a whey protein supplement at Whole Foods. Each scoop has 16 grams of protein and some chocolate, so it makes me feel pretty great. I make it with milk so I get about 24 grams of protein with every glass. I don't like the idea of getting my protein in this form (even though there's only 6 grams of sugar, it's technically a processed food), but I really CANNOT eat enough food to get enough protein. SO MUCH FOOD makes up 80-100 grams of protein.

Exercise (gentle walking is all I ever do) pretty much stinks right now. In the mornings it makes me SCARY DIZZY. In the evenings my back hurts too much to do anything but lay down. In the middle of the day it's WAY too hot. Sometimes I can lay down in the evenings for an hour or two and THEN go for a walk. If I don't fall asleep!

Sleeping is also getting harder. My chiropractor said not to worry too much about sleeping on my back, since it's really the only way that feels comfortable. My body seems to MUCH prefer sleeping 6 hours at night and then another 2 during the day. I know it's not technically "natural" for adults to sleep as long as we do at one time, so this change makes me happy... I plan on conforming to my baby's natural biological rhythm which will be sleep/wake/sleep/wake, and this is a good start for that transition. Ash and I already wake up most nights between 2am-4am to talk and get a snack.

We made fried fish with turnips, kale, and green beans for dinner. So much green stuff! And the kale/turnips came from our garden. Ash and I are having fun being in charge of grocery shopping and meal planning.

I'm considering my options for my "career". I think my dream job would be a teaching position with the Eno River Association, or a similar non-profit... maybe even director of education, eventually. But I would also enjoy being a Montessori teacher (possibly not mutually exclusive goals). Either way, I'm going to need some teacher training or some additional schooling. Montessori certification takes about a year and costs between $6,000-$10,000, depending on which programs you enroll in. Certainly cheaper than grad school. Ash and I have pretty much decided that while my parent's property and full time farming is where we want to end up one day... we're not quite ready to settle down just yet, permanently. Ash has this fantasy of raising our kid for a while in Charleston...and of course his music career makes a lot more sense there. I'd really love to live somewhere where I didn't have to own a car, and that's one place to do that. Living here rent free will be perfect for the first few years of raising Lucca, since we can save money and pay for my additional schooling much easier this way. And the great thing about permaculture is that it takes YEARS for fruit and nut trees to grow up and for soil to build... so it can just keep going without us for a year or two if we decide to leave and come back.

The Durham Youth Orchestra had it's last concert ever this week, since Mr. P, the director, is retiring. I took pictures and video, but that will have to wait because I can't find the cable for my camera!

Quinten made an amazing wooden toy box in woodworking class for Lucca. It's gorgeous but once again... no pictures until I find that cable.