two steps forward, one step back

He seems to be super sensitive to gluten, since he has random grumpy days and night even when I eat the same things every day. It's amazing what has gluten in it or on it.. basically everything that comes in a package. After talking with the ladies at Foodlab, I'll be starting over in the new year, eliminating only the things that make sense to me (gluten, dairy, soy, coconut, tomatoes) and then going from there, eliminating only one food at a time. Much less maddening. I had eggs and bacon for breakfast and it felt so good!! I think eating rice cereal every morning was stupid, there wasn't enough fat or protein and I spent the rest of the morning in extreme low blood sugar mode, frustrated that I had to eat every 30 minutes.

Yesterday he had such a great day, all day. He was so happy. In the morning, I got bold and took his diaper off and never put it back on, so we're back in the game when it comes to ECing. I got peed on a few times, but he started a predictable pattern of peeing once every hour so we started catching them. We caught the daily poop at the end of the day, which is really the most important catch to make :) He would always cry when we put his diaper on, which made me feel so guilty for giving up on ECing right when he needed it most. His chronic diaper rash disappeared, his whining stopped... he just loves to be naked!

Everyone is visiting for the holidays, so mom and dad (us) are getting to enjoy the occasional nap, or free hands to eat a meal, or spare second to run to the bathroom. Aunt Alyssa is sitting with him outside (his favorite place in the world) while I type this. Two-handed typing, what a luxury!!

We're apartment hunting. Everything affordable seems to be in a terrible neighborhood! And the nice places disappear so quickly (we viewed one place and it was unavailable the next day).

Progress... finally.

The diet is working.

He has been so happy today... all day. It's amazing. And he slept from 8:30pm-3am straight last night. His cradle cap is going away. His eye stopped pussing. His rash is gone. I'm just waiting for a poop today so I can see if it is returning to normal color/smell/texture. Yesterday he made a tiny poop, and it was yellow and smelt so sweet!!



I am still getting over this sickness. There is fluid in my ears and some acute pain in my throat which I think are actually canker sores? I have a productive cough. I'm fatigued, but I was strong enough to wear him today.

I read him a book today for the first time, since he was happy enough to sit still, finally. It was "The Very Hungry Caterpillar".

I'm reading "Ender's Game". I need to be reading to feel like myself...so I am.



Tanya, who I met at the Babywearers meeting, gave me all her old diapers and they are amazing!! They fit him perfectly with room to grow. They are all fitted and contour diapers, Tiny Tush brand. Luca is so wide, he doesn't even fit in size large prefolds, so I was going to have to spend hundreds on buying all new fitted diapers if it hadn't been for Tanya!! I have experienced so much generosity since Luca was born, it's so inspiring. It reminds me that all I have to do to make the world a better place is to do good myself. Kindness is contagious.

Accepting change..

I have found a great group on Yahoo called The Food Lab... I feel like crying tears of joy, they are exactly what I need right now... a bunch if sweet, intelligent moms who have been through what I'm going through. They are so supportive. They have helped me realize a few things...

1) Being a new mom is HARD, but that's ok... it really will get easier. Big life adjustments are supposed to be hard.
2) Things will never be like they were before I had a baby, and that's ok too.
3) You have to surround yourself with people who are going through the same thing you are, otherwise you will feel depressed and isolated.
4) My suffering is real, and so is his (why is this so hard to admit?). I'm a good mom because I am willing to do anything for Luca... the less I doubt myself, the better a mom I can be.

And on a practical level... I think he is allergic to coconut too. Which sucks, because I am obsessed with it's amazing ability to be used for EVERYTHING.

sick again

It's just one thing after another. I'm sick. Just waiting for the baby to get it now.
I hope it's not the flu, since that's really bad for a baby to get.

ETA: He just pooped (every other day this week!!) and it was yellower and it even had some seedy texture to it!! I think the diet is working already!!