STILL SICK. My mom is worried that it might have turned into bronchitis now... 3 days of non-improving cough and green mucus production. One thing that helps is adding eucalyptus oil to boiling water, and breathing in the steam. It's so soothing. It makes my nose stop running, and my lungs and throat don't feel like I have been coughing. This effect only lasts about half an hour, but any relief is welcome! I am still also having strong food aversions and sudden onsets of nausea.

I missed all last week of work, and this week I have requests to ADD hours, and I don't even know if I will make any of the original ones. But after a point, I swear parents would rather I come over sick than I miss work again. I feel bad, a lot of people rely on me, but all I feel like doing is sleeping.

Ash and I start homeschooling my 15 year old brother Quinten tomorrow! He didn't even wake up until 2pm today, but he swears he will wake up at 10am every morning to do school with us. Ash has picked out "Slaughterhouse Five" as his first reading assignment. Any recommendations any of you have for books that a lazy 15 year old would enjoy (and no, he isn't interested in Harry Potter), pass it on. I can't even tell you what his interests are, ever since he started public school all he does is work out and listen to really bad hip hop. I don't care what kind of book it is, I just want him to enjoy reading ANYTHING.

IT'S A GLORIOUS DAY, 60 DEGREES!!

First ultrasound image!

I delayed posting about this until I had scanned in the photo...



At my visit to my regular GYN on Thursday, I mentioned the left side pain. She decided to go borrow her husband's little ultrasound machine to check to make sure the fetus was in my uterus (it was not the kind usually used on babies, because she couldn't do a full anatomical check or anything like that). So I got to see my baby in there!!! There is apparently only one, and his little heart is beating just fine and I even got to see that. It was going flutter flutter flutter. Holy cow, so cool, I cried on the table. Too bad Ash wasn't there to see it. The ultrasound dated my baby the same as I had, due on September 1st.

My GYN is a very cool lady, and she used to be an OB who regularly backed up home births in the area. She told me all the questions I need to ask my midwife to make sure she has good judgement, and she is sending me a list of OB's at Durham Regional who she knows provide good care. I figured I would go visit one, get an ultrasound at about 15 weeks, figure out if any of them are supportive of natural birth (that way I know who they are if I get transfered there), and they can have all of my info already on file. My GYN said she would see the home birthing mothers once per trimester, just so she was familiar with them and their pregnancy. She is also going to send me the European guidelines on home birth transfer, since Europe has a lot more home birth going on over there. She also told me not to attempt a home birth if the baby is breech, just because it is my first birth.

Yesterday I started crying because Ash said the word "pregnant" and I was like "YES I AM PREGNANT THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT". Crazy, crazy hormones!! I ate mostly veggie straws and canned pineapple all day yesterday, the thought of any other kind of food made me literally gag. I sat on the couch all day, blowing my nose over and over and over... if I had a quarter for every time, I'd be a millionaire by now. The humidifier is helping, but I can't take any expectorant because it is a class C drug and has been linked to birth defects!! So I will just have to get it out the old fashioned way (coughing up a lung).

Fever finally went down, I actually SLEPT last night which was a HUGE relief. It's really hard to not sleep or eat when you are pregnant! I went to the doctor yesterday (which was like hell... really really hard to sit in that waiting room) and she recommended I get the flu shot as soon as I get better, just in case this isn't the flu or in case I get hit with another strain later. I hope the baby kept on growing that whole time I wasn't eating and I had a fever... POOR LITTLE GENE SWARM. I think it is making up for it today because BOY am I hungry.

A cousin of mine ended up in the hospital for emergency surgery this week with an ectopic pregnancy. SCARY. Especially since I had a terrible pinching pain on only my left side last Sunday, and now whenever I get what I think is gas I only feel it on my left side. Is this why people get ultrasounds so early in their pregnancies? Because I thought it was just to guess how far along the woman was (I already know the answer to that since I was TTC, so I haven't bothered with an ultrasound yet). Of course I meet zero of the criteria for a risk of an ectopic pregnancy, so I'm being silly.

I think I should go ahead and pick a backup OB, but I have NO IDEA how to go about doing that, so I was just going to wait and talk to my midwife about it at our appointment on Feb 8th. I know I have to get her to write a referral if I want to get an ultrasound, but she will do all the blood work herself.

Edit: I forgot to mention that Ash and I found another baby consignment shop on University drive, with really awesome prices and a really large selection! It's called "Baby Bear". It was the first time Ash and I had gone shopping for stuff together, so it was nice to get a feel for what kind of things he liked and what he didn't like. He doesn't like prints. ANY PRINTS. Not even cute animals prints. I couldn't even get him to go for stripes, but he did find a tie-die onsie he really liked (see picture). The rest of the ones he picked out were plain, brightly colored onsies. There was also a full set he wanted but it was for about an 18 month old (sweater vest with button up and khaki shorts) so we didn't get it. We spent about $14 and we got 8 pieces. The tie-die one was the most expensive, at $5.




Some of these baby things are sized by month, some by pound, some by sm/m/lrg..... how are you supposed to compare them? Holding them up to each other only works sometimes, since brands vary. How old is a baby that weighs "13-18 lbs"? How much are they assuming your baby weighs if the shirt says "3-6 months"?

Still sick, still have a fever. I took Tylenol again today at 1pm, it brought down the fever to about 99 so I could finally take a nap! Until then, whenever I put my head on the pillow, the pillow got so hot that I felt like my head was on fire. When the Tylenol started to wear off at dinner time, it went up to 100 so I took more. I read online that once you get above 101/102 you can damage an embryo in the first trimester. I hope the benefits outweigh the risks when it comes to using Tylenol for a fever during pregnancy (I know a nurse who says she wouldn't give her kids Tylenol if they were on their death beds). The cough is productive at least! Honey is making a great cough syrup.

Sick with a major fever and a cough. Fever is an issue in the first trimester. I tried using a cold compress to bring it down, but it refused so I took 2 Tylenol. I think it finally dropped a bit. I had to miss my home birth meetup today because I was starting to feel bad after lunch. I stopped and bought some elderberry juice, since it is good for both respiratory and immune system health.

Had a bit of a scare this morning... woke up at 4am with gas-like-cramps, thought there might be a little blood to accompany it. I called my midwife and she said that at 9 weeks the chances of it being a miscarriage were very low (like 1/100), as long as the bleeding doesn't continue. But we should lay of the hanky panky for a few days, since that can cause bleeding as well.

I'm going to Raleigh today to hear a bunch of home birth stories from women in the triangle. Before that I am having lunch with my college roommate, Anna! We are eating at a Mediterranean place, which is good because I have been craving fresh veggies all the time (what an awesome thing to crave, right??).

There is some news going around about the Surgeon General asking for better support for breast feeding in the workplace and in the community. Of course, someone ironically comments about how they don't have a problem with breast feeding as long as they don't have to see it. Then someone else agrees, comparing it to defecating or having sex in public. It's a wonder anyone breast feeds at all, considering it is either seen as a gross bodily function or a vulgar act of nudity. It's amazing what one or two generations of time can do to the perception of something... suddenly (after commercial sale of formula in the 50's) nobody saw breast feeding anymore, and it became an alien/uncomfortable concept just like that! Like magic. And people must literally have zero awareness of that concept (being uncomfortable with something because they are not used to seeing it), because people will defend their right to be grossed out as if it is at all normal.

Here's to feeling beautiful!

I have been feeling a lot better already! Yesterday was GLORIOUS and almost 60 degrees, so I took the baby I was watching on two 20 minute walks (one in the baby bjorn and one in the stroller). I have actually SLEPT the past two nights, only waking up once to pee (as opposed to waking up every hour due to either peeing or nightmares). Gosh, sleep makes all the difference in the world. Ash also took our bed off of the frame and put it on the floor, which makes it a LOT easier to get on and off. It also has a different... energy. It feels more grounded to lay in it, as opposed to a suspended bed that counter-moves whenever you wiggle or turn over. It's nice to feel like you are laying on solid ground. It helps me sleep.

Some pictures finally turned up from the wedding we went to (and played in) last October in Nashville.



I feel like that dress was sort of a dare to myself.... it really is a great dress, a one-of-a-kind altered vintage slip made by an artist in Asheville. I didn't shave my legs and I paired it with the vintage shoes from my wedding. From my point of view it was the perfect outfit and I felt very much myself in it, but it's pretty close to being a naked, hairy hippie at a wedding in which pearls and cardigans are the norm. I don't know whether I got a lot of compliments because people didn't know what else to say or if people actually liked it! At the dinner afterward, I put on tights and a shawl so it would be more evening appropriate. I just had this overwhelming realization that I wasn't going to be in my early 20's for very long, and that is really the only time when you can pull off stuff like this. I have watched too much "What Not to Wear" in my lifetime to go too crazy!! But I really felt quite beautiful that day, more than I had in a while. Since self-esteem was such a priority for myself last year, I'm glad I bought the dress that I fell in love with and not something safe. You can't hold (or nurse) a baby in a dress like that, so I may never get to wear it again!