Last year was a rift in the time stream. We jumped into alternate realities for a little while. I feel like a whole year disappeared... like I was 17 again and I went away to summer camp and I just got back. A little disorientation, a lot of pain, and a lot of growth for everyone. Somehow, Trump became a major presidential nominee in the process, so I'm sorry for the disturbance of space time that might have caused this. Ash and I are back on track, having bought a beautiful home together. Luca starts at an amazing new school soon. We got a cat.
Despite all of these wonderful things, I've been giving myself a really hard time lately. Mostly about financial stuff. We're doing ok. We're breaking even and we've got a small nest egg for emergencies. But I want to be able to give my kid everything. I want to be able to pay for him to go to college in cash, like my parents did for me. I want to be able to retire and live above the poverty line. I want to triple my charitable giving. But all of the pressure that I put on myself is diminishing my quality of life right now. And there is so much to enjoy and be thankful for. I know I will look back on this time one day and wish I had slowed down and enjoyed it, instedly of constantly asking what I can do to make it better.
I am an overachiever, whose achievements are truncated by the very anxiety that propels me forward. I'm hitting the gas pedal and the breaks at the same time, and I'm almost out of gas, and I'm yelling at the poor car to go faster.
I've stopped exercising and I've stopped making sure I prioritize sleep. Those two things alone are enough, but I also started drinking coffee (which has always made me feel terrible). I know exactly what I need to do. Now, I just have to love myself enough to do it.
Our House: A Summary - [image: snowstorm 2014] [image: snowstorm 2014] [image: snowstorm 2014] *Supplies total:*$3,769 *Labor total:* $3,497 =$7,226 *Supplies breakdown: * Lum...
2 years ago