This was the best and worst summer of my life so far.
The amount of pain, change, confusion, and clarity has been staggering.
Opening up to the impermanence of life has been enormously freeing. Without false hope and attachment and fear of change, life is a whole hell of a lot better. To the point where, for the first time in my life, I am experiencing zero mental illness. I didn't think that would ever be possible. Just a little over three years ago, I was standing on a bridge over 147, wondering how long my baby would survive if I jumped and left his stroller in the shade. I thought, maybe I'll wait until he's old enough to hold a sippy cup, so he won't get dehydrated. That's when I got help.
Since moving to Asheville, I've continued to be a warrior on a self help quest. I've started doing Ashtanga yoga at least three days per week. On Saturdays, I go to Contact Improv and on Sundays, I go to Ecstatic Dance Church. I dance and cuddle and breathe and sweat my crazy out.
I also get a lot of love from a lot of incredible new people in my life. My network of meaningful relationships has doubled. No, tripled! I went from feeling incredibly lonely and isolated to having multiple things on my calendar every day. The abundance of life is overwhelming. I almost forget I'm sad, sometimes.
Alyssa and Redford moved in with Luca and I. We have an incredible little family together. The boys love each other so much, it's almost too much for my heart to bear to witness. And having two sister wives (HA!) raising two kids feels balanced and nourishing. I love my job. I love the mountains.
 |
| Alyssa + Redford |
 |
| Luca + Redford |
 |
| Luca + Me |
